Not one way, your way and our way

One way

…at a time.

I looked up at this sign on my walk and thought about the words. In an ordered world of cars and safety it is important to make sure we know you go the right direction. The path is set out and mapped for you. All you need to do is follow and adhere to the rules. Right?

Yet sometimes we go the wrong way. Not intentional, more likely because of distractions, unfamiliarity or necessity.  For example in a foreign city driving in narrow laneways not knowing the language you might take a wrong turn. Or maybe in some bad weather driving at night you completely miss the sign saying do not enter and you do. It can happen. It does happen. Yes I have done this once in my life and still remember.

But what about in a non driving context. Does the rule still apply? Yes and no. For me, and it is just my opinion here, navigating your life is never ‘one way’. Instead it is YOUR way. The only direction you can go is the one that feels right for you.  

This does not mean you can break all the rules or laws. That is just an excuse. No it is more than that. It is a navigation. In your own self directing you lay out a plan, put markers and directions out of where you want to go and head off. You follow your path. And when you are clear and determined you focus on one way. Yet it is one way at a time. Not only one way.

What is also a reminder for me in this photo is that when we only look at the sign telling us what to do we completely miss everything around the sign. Behind and above this sign are so many aspects of the world worth noting. It is much like driving on a road and not stopping because you have a destination and a time frame.

What if you changed it up? What if in your life you have a direction not so much a destination. And what if the time frame was more flexible - your expectations were more aligned with reality and the changing world around you? Instead you become adaptable. 

So in our driving metaphor it is not whether you are going one way or not it is whether you even choose that road at all. So the real wisdom is in the choice preceding the direction. Once you commit you are engaged, right? Once you go down that street there is no turning back. There of course will be a whole new set of choices - down the road.

Then the next question is how do you make choices that are the best for you and everyone else in a moment and going forward. You see exclusively sticking to your way means you do not consider anyone else on your path. You might as well live alone on this earth devoid of all connection to humanity. A self growth focus of being aligned to your way can therefore go in either of two directions. You may go further into your own world, ignore others. Or you may navigate wisely through your personal journey connecting to others, learning and travelling together.

Back to the driving example. Consider your vehicle. You on your own, perhaps driving using a motorbike or bicycle, can only take you along. Expand the vehicle to a coupe, sedan, van, bus and you expand your ability to travel with others. You see you may or may not be the driver. You may or may not choose to be the driver. Sometimes we lead, other times we choose to join in and go with others, with a different leader. This is how our society and sub communities work.

Yet it all starts with you. That is why the focus of this post is to first get clear about your way. Know you. Know why you do what you do. Know how to listen to your intuition, your inner voice and act on your own wisdom. These are inherent ways to be aligned to your way. Learn to pick up signals, read the room, know what the evironment around you whether people, place or other says to you. It is about being aware. Can you see how this enables you to travel well through your life?

Then when you connect with others you can share authentically. You can find like minded souls to join with you. Likewise you can learn from those who differ in their views and ways. This gives you the full opportunity to stand in your own strength, step forward and do your work, live your life. All because you start with a direction, discern where to go and how to go and start going. You start with your way.

Our way then becomes a collection of ways, not the only way or one way.

Oh it sounds so simple. It can be, and also we are all human in our endeavours. So we make things more complicated. Perhaps if life had a series of one way signs in front of us and we followed them it would be easier, right? Well maybe, but also it might be a bit boring. Just my opinion again.

I offer this reflective piece of writing to encourage you to consider your way. Ask yourself how clear are you? Who do you follow and why? How often to you listen to your self? How do you integrate both your own way and others?